Friday, January 29, 2010

I am more than a saxophone-playing college student.

Monday, January 25, 2010

no more raging suns

I have been thinking at various times within the last couple of months that I would very much like to have a video camera so I can make neat movies/music video type things, much like this one.
It's not great sound quality and it's kinda trippy, but I just... really like it, mostly because this song makes me want to weep when I hear it.

anyway, this is neato torpedo.

Friday, January 22, 2010

eff book.

sometimes I find myself on facebook looking at pictures of old friends or people I knew from high school. and I get really sad because these people aren't the same people they were when I knew them... and are infact, in much worse shape/less pleasant to be around.
then I remind myself that I hate facebook and consider deleting it. but then I get scared that my friendships with some people will suffer or die because I don't have facebook to communicate with them, which is really stupid and ridiculous.
facebook is changing the way relationships are and I don't like it. we shouldn't have to be concerned with whether or not we will be friends with people anymore because we don't have internet walls to write on just to remind each other that we still exist.

what ever happened to letters? or even a phone call?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

some thoughts.

why does my cat always vomit?
she was doing so well, but within the last couple of days, her emotionally triggered vomitting when I leave has transitioned into vomitting when I am also in the room. maybe she is just paranoid that I'm going to get rid of her or leave her because she keeps vomitting... and that scares her so she keeps vomitting.

why has it taken me so long to use google scholar?! I didn't even know it existed until yesterday in speech class. I'm using it for an annotated bibliography project, but I can use it for other things too! it's great.

am I the only person in the world who hasn't smoked pot at some point in my life?
I know that this is a silly question, because I'm obviously not, but I feel like people nonchalantly talk about how they have done it and I'm all like "whaaaaat?!"
ignorance is bliss.

why do I have OCD at night?
it's like I'm on campus all day doing stuff that I generally don't want to do- like going to class and practicing and going to work... and then I come home and spend all of my time cleaning because I am ridiculous. and just now, instead of going to bed by midnight, I thought it was the perfect time to update my google calendar with all of my recitals and WW seminars. and now I am staying up even later to talk about it. awesome.

(update) also, marian didn't throw up at all today! I was a bit terrified coming home from jazz band tonight. she kept me up all night last night vomiting, so I figured my basement would be covered with vomit when I got home... but alas, nothing! yay marian!
however, I am still taking her to the kitty hospital soon enough.

I have also decided to make it a life goal to NEVER slip and fall on the ice. it was my goal for the day, and I have recently discovered that I have a pretty good balancing and walking ability when it comes to ice and snow. me and winter... we have a connection... a type of harmony.

that's all for now.

Friday, January 8, 2010

slightly awkward.

due to recent situations, I have decided to compile a list of things that I enjoy eating, but my body rejects. I suppose this will allow me to become more aware of the things that I shouldn't eat, although I probably still will.

1. chinese food- when I was first introduced to the chinese buffet in boone, iowa (which has since burned down), there was never a time that I could stuff my face with chinese and not be visiting the bathroom as soon as I got home. since I have moved to ames and started eating chinese outside of buffets, my stomach has slowly become accustomed to it. however, at times, maybe when I am eating too much chinese food in a week, which I often do, my body rejects it. panda express, cocost, chc.. you name it.

2. coffee beverages- I never even used to like coffee. I have slowly created a tolerance for black coffee, but I will drink a delicious white mocha at any time. I believe it is mostly the sugary beverages that have actually very little coffee in comparision to artificial flavoring that my body rejects the most, but usually, even straight up coffee with some milk in it will send me straight to the lady's room.

3. oyster stew- okay, so I have only had this once, and it was tasty... but once again... REJECTED.

in time, I feel confident that this list will expand. I am getting older and instead of gaining a tolerance for certain things like you do when you get older, I feel like my stomach/entire body is going the opposite direction.
I can't even swing on the swings anymore without feeling like I'm going to vomit.

I have also decided to create a list of things that my body rejects that I also reject. so when people are trying to persuade me to eat/drink certain things, I have a good reason not to.

1. spicy food- I have never liked spicy food. I have recently decided that when the orange chicken at panda express is too spicy... it is why my stomach hates me. so take that all of you people trying to convert me to spicy food. I may never expand beyond my neutral eating zone!

that's all for that list, I suppose.
I apologize for the awkward conotations that come along with my body "rejecting" something that I eat. but hey, it happens to all of us. also, I warned you in the title.

Monday, January 4, 2010

neat people.

i enjoy playing shows sometimes, usually when the other bands are really neat and nice.

i enjoy having neat and nice people in other bands stay at my house. it always proves to be a fun experience.

in june, i had the members of the band 'church' from portland stay at our place and it was weird when they left. i got to stay up until hours in the morning chatting with them and then we had brunch and it was a great time. then they left and it was weird.

tonight, again has proved to be a fun experience of having band members stay at my house. one of the band members also turned 22 at midnight tonight which was just a fun thing to share with them.

i like meeting neat people that share common interests. i also like meeting neat people that don't share as many interests. it's just always a worthwhile experience and even though i'm not making friends that i can really continue relationships with... i got to share a night with total strangers-- learning about them, hearing about different parts of the country, hearing about other sweet bands that they are interested in... even if just for a few hours.

i'm usually difficult when it comes to leaving/being left by a friend. even though i just met these people, or even though i had just met the portland folks... just the fact that they played the center of my attention and a large part of my life for a night and now they have to leave... it's kind of sad, to be honest. it's like a whole part of my life ends when they walk out my door-- the part of me that gets to hang out with cool musicians, play host, make them food, tell them about myself-- it's done. i don't know that they'll ever think about me again, i will surely think about them. but they are on tour and they are meeting new people every night, will they remember me?
i suppose it doesn't matter much at all, i am just glad to have spent a night getting to know total strangers who are very interesting and nice to my cat.

meeting people who are on tour also inspires me to want to go on tour. i guess that way i will know if they will remember me based on whether i remember all the people i meet and stay with while i am on tour. it just seems like an experience i need to have. maybe an experience similar to one that everyone needs to have.

anyway, tonight i was honestly inspired by the bands that played before me. maybe my months of writer's block will be done. maybe not. i've got to get more inspiration so i can start on that ep!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

3rd annual christmas sweater family christmas photo

it really was the best christmas ever!

some resolutions.

new years resolutions:

1. eating smaller portions/healthier foods including more organic food. drink more water. make lunch every day instead of buying lunch every day.
2. use more organic products for hygiene and other things.
3. 20 sit-ups (to start) every day/more use of the campus gym.
4. get rid of more clothes/restrict my buying of clothes.
5. record an ep in 2010.

so the first three things aren't very direct and all sort of go together in just generally being more healthy. I know that this is a goal I have set for myself many-a-times, but let's just do it this time.
the fourth one is something I have been realizing a lot in the past several months. I have been ridiculous with worldly things and it's time to make a change I suppose.
the last one is a concrete goal that I can set in front of me. something that I just do and it's done. but I want to be proud of it and hopefully not get tired of the music I write as I have with all of the things I have written within the past year.

I am realizing how sad it is that I never achieve any goals I ever set out for myself and I guess I will just need some help, but I need to start doing things in the time I have.
God help me, for sure.